Mayoish language explained

Anglophone vandalism in affect. The speaking of English or any other language is a hangable offence in Gaeltacht areas of the ROM.

"Mayoish" is a strange dialect confusing to outsiders. It consists of a nonsensical string of mispronounced English, occasional words of Irish origin, and some words clearly just made up by the speaker as they go along. A common greeting among speakers is the phrase 'Hows it goin' or alternatively the word 'Well' and 'Schan!'. Another unusual feature of the language is the tendency to add 'een' onto the names of items or creatures to suggest they are diminutive in size; for example 'dogeen', 'houseen', or 'girleen'. Also, a notable characteristic in Mayoish is the tendency to add the letter 'h' to words where unnecessary for example words such as 'shtateside' and 'shkank' . Some areas of Mayo are in the Gaeltacht. In Tourmakeady, Connacht Irish is spoken but in Achill Island and Tourmakeady a bastardised mixture of Connacht Irish and Ulster Irish is spoken just to confuse everyone.